Well – It has been so long that I have written, I had to go back and re-read my last blog so I can bring you up to date.   That is a little too long of a time span.  I had to giggle to myself in the last sentence of my last blog when I said I would write more frequently…just kidding about that one. :).

So…how have I been?  hmmmm.   That is a tricky one.  Since March, I have been to the MD 2 times with blood work and the general stuff with nothing to note.  Blood work is on the low end, but not horrible by any stretch.  I skipped my bone shot last time thinking that it was the cause of the pain that I have had.  Unfortunately, I continue to have the pain.  It was hitting me about 1-2 days a month until last month when it was 3-4 times in April.  This month has been ridiculous.  I have had these pain syndromes every week this month.  I have had fevers as high as 102 and in simple terms…felt like shit several days.  Cannot say I am digging on this new “norm” for me.  My MD has been trying to figure out what is going on with me.  This apparently is not a common problem.  The latest possibility is that I some type of blood infection that is transient – so it comes and goes and kicks my butt with it.  Next time it comes on – I have been summoned to return to the hospital for some blood cultures and more in depth analysis of this problem.  stay tuned…

On good days – I feel good.  I am able to work, play and live the way I always have (with the exception of jogging–which I am able to get over pretty quick).  I  am pretty sure I am living with a little more fear.  I try not to worry about it – but  come on…I do have cancer.  there is a good bit to worry about.  On the days I feel it the most – I stop.  breathe.  pray.  breathe.  pray.  breathe.  Until eventually, my anxiety is gone and the weight is lifted.  It is not an easy task.  And to think of the millions of people that are going through this same crap every day.  Very disturbing.  I have met some true warriors over the past months that make my situation look like a joke.  I pray for them…hard.

Quick little plug for a cancer fund raiser I am having on July 25th.   It will be a fancy dinner with a wine pairing.  Should be a ton of fun.  Everyone is invited and feel free to invite others.  The more people we have the more we give to cancer research to find a cure.  Save the date for now….more details to follow.  We as a community need to figure out how to be done with this disease.  If not for us – for our children.

I return to the MD on 6/9 for blood work, scans and the full work up.  Please keep me in your prayers.  The good news for my potential problem is that there is a fix.  I have yet to have a MD tell me that they think it is directly related to my cancer.  That is good news.  I’m just ready for it to stop so I can resume life at the ‘norm” I am used to–as “abnormal” as that probably is:)

God Bless you all.

Much Love,

Tracey